Posted on August 20th, 2007
By scott
at 10:31 am (All, Two legs)
My father’s memorial service happened last Wednesday, and then I was on a plane back home via Las Vegas. Midnight in Las Vegas should be fun: gambling and drinking water-downed Beam and Diets. Instead, I waited for the flight to Chicago. I was exhausted.
It had been more than 10 years since I’d been an air traveler. One thing never changes — even now that I’m not so wide — you want a skinny girl sitting next to you. I lucked out and a woman not more than a 100 pounds and five feet tall had the center seat. Her boyfriend, a Chicago guy who looked like a TV version of a Chicago guy had the aisle seat.
Good, I thought, I can get some sleep before driving back to Hickory Corners, Michigan.
The Chicago guy had a toothache. He moaned as he downed several rum and cokes.
He was a mean drunk.
An hour in, they started to fight. First, they kept their voices low. Then something happened (I have no clue what), decorum disappeared. She curled into a ball and he ranted. She would spar with him, call him a drunk. He responded with coke whore, crack whore.
I realized I was now sitting next to the Sopranos’ Tony and Carm (think seasons four and five). He breathed like Tony and he was just as big. What would you do? Me, I turned toward the window and wished the flight attendants would take care of the problem.
The Chicago guy left his seat. I felt bad for her. But I said nothing.
Fifteen minutes later, he returned. Here I thought the attendants had done their job and separated the two. No, the fine folks of US Airways did nothing to end the battle.
The battle escalated to slapping and screaming. This did not stop until we were at the gate.
It was the first time I thought pilots should have guns.
Having deplaned, I looked expectantly for the cops to meet Tony and Carm. No. Nothing. So, I’d like to thank US Airways for making my first flight in 10 years an absolutely miserable experience. I look forward to reading that you’ve entered bankruptcy and have no hope of coming back.
